She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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