okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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