Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
