found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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