My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am one with the molecules
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
