I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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