i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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