well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I got her a Nickelback box set.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
