Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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