I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
