Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
