Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
