You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize