her vagine was all disorganized.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
