I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
