If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
