I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
