I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
