Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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