Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
