I wannas sexs uuuuu
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
