I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
