Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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