And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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