somebody snuck up and got me drunk
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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