I cockslap morals
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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