i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
