I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Blood and glitter go together right?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize