tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
