I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
