Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize