Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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