The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
