I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
