Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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