I cut my penus on the lid.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
