She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
