We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize