Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize