if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
