Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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