I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
