It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
