You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this must be what syphilis tastes like
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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