Need sex. Gaining weight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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