if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
