it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
