I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We left the knife in your bed.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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