Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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