she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
