i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
