Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she told me i tasted like america
should my penis look like a turkey
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
