My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
