Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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