Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
