This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
