Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
