sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
