So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
