I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize