you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
