what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
